deep_red_bells | Fear of the dark tears me apart, won't leave me alone and time keeps running out

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Fear of the dark tears me apart, won't leave me alone and time keeps running out

Baileigh told Julian that she and Claire were going shopping because she’d forgotten to pick up something important, something she’d have to remember to stop and buy just to keep up the appearance. She really hated lying to him, but telling him this now would, well, ruin their trip. What a stupid thing to even consider, but she needed to figure out just how the hell she was going to break the news to him and a few days past a week seemed like a reasonable amount of time. She was likely kidding herself to think that he wouldn’t be able to tell that something was wrong, but she could try.

She knocked quietly at the door to Adam and Claire‘s place, unsure of how she’d managed to stay on her feet this long, how she’d managed to keep smiling until she was out of the house. She knew she was hanging by a thread; all she wanted to do was curl up somewhere and hide.

She hoped talking to someone she could trust to keep things to themselves would help.

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Claire was worried right from the first text that she had gotten from Bee, she could tell that something was wrong even through the words on the screen. Suddenly Bee couldn't get there fast enough because Claire started worrying it was something to do with a demon or a vampire. Maybe they weren't going to let her quit being a Slayer but she couldn't see how they would keep forcing her to do such work if she didn't want to do it.

The worries were still on her mind as she made them some coffee and then got out the cookies that she had made the day before. She just needed something to occupy herself as idle hands were often dangerous from what she heard. She was sure that was close to the actual saying or something.

When the knock came on the door, she hurried to answer and froze at the sight of her friend. "Bee, what's wrong?" She asked softly, immediately opening her arms.

Claire was at least half-a-foot shorter than her, but Baileigh went straight into her arms anyway, stooping to rest her head on her shoulder. She'd been keeping everything bottled in tightly, but her bottle was generally very small, and it was overflowing very quickly. Silent sobs shook her body, tears leaked freely from her eyes as she let it empty and refill and empty again, until she reached the point where she could lift her head and speak coherently.

"I th--I think--I think I m--might be p--pregnant," she managed to get out, wiping tears and unsticking her hair from her damp, splotchy cheeks.

Claire was used to everyone being taller than her, she was tiny and she knew it but that didn't matter when she needed to give someone a hug. She wrapped her arms around Bee and she could feel the sobs even before she heard them. She lifted a hand, touching Bee's hair gently as she kicked at the door to close it and then focused on her friend.

That wasn't what she was expecting. Anything but the fact that Bee might be pregnant and so she didn't know what to say because it was clear that being happy wasn't an option at the moment since Bee was freaking out. "What? When, I mean, you're late?" She asked, not sure what to say.

"I t--I took a test," she hiccuped, sweeping her hair back out of her face frantically. "I was packing, I--I missed some of my pills--I'm j-just a day late but f-false positives--they don't ha-happen often--oh God--" She dissolved into tears again, hiding her face in her hands. "Oh God, what am I gonna do?!"

Claire isn't about to point out that those tests were supposed to be something like 99% percent accurate or whichever. "Shh, come on." Claire shushes her softly, leading her over to the couch where they could sit and be on more even ground. When they sat down, she gathered Bee a little closer while rubbing her back gently, "I...I don't know. Was kids not in the plan at some point?" She just had to be sure.

Baileigh laughed, somewhat bitterly, still holding her face in her hands. "God, no--neither of us want--wanted--we don't, we didn't want to be parents, we--" She drew in an unsteady breath and raked a hand through her hair. "This wasn't supposed to happen! I'm so careful! I take my pills every single day, and because of that stupid demon I missed a week, and--"

Her shoulders shook again, this time with a combination of sobs and laughter. "They're punishing me. They're punishing me for quitting."

Okay, so not reacting with a squeal or happily was a good thing because it was apparent that Bee didn't think this was a good thing at all. She sat back a little bit, watching her friend as she explained that they hadn't wanted kids but she had skipped pills because of the demon taking her memory. She pursed her lips a little bit, nodding her head, "Maybe it's something to do with that, maybe it's not a pregnancy."

She tilted her head, "I doubt this is a punishment, Bee." She sighed, glancing at the clock, "We could go to a clinic, get them to run a test. I'll come with you of course." She nodded her head, guessing they could get it done before anyone really figured anything out.

As much as she would've liked to self-delude, she shook her head a little and leaned back on the couch, tucking her knees up to her chest. "I'm pretty sure it's...it's accurate. I--false positive happen very, very rarely. There were two tests in the box, I...I'm gonna take the second one tomorrow morning, to make sure, but..." She sighed heavily and laid her forehead on her knees. "I've been so tired. Just, completely drained. That's one of the earliest pregnancy symptoms."

Claire looked at her friend, nodding her head slowly as Bee told her exactly what she had been thinking about the fact that it was completely rare for a pregnancy test to show false results. She reached over then, rubbing her hand slowly over Bee's back as she nibbled on her bottom lip, "It'll be okay, we'll figure something out, okay?" Then her voice softened, "I take it Julian doesn't know, yet?"

Her lips tightened, and she swallowed hard and shook her head slowly, tears gathering in her eyes again. "I c--" Her voice cracked, and she paused and tried again. "I don't know...how to tell him."

"Bee, this isn't an easy question." Claire murmured a little bit as she looked at her friend before finally just asking, "Do you want to keep it or..." She didn't know how her friend felt about abortion or adoption, if those were options or would she have the baby?

Her eyes widened a bit with something like panic. "I--I'm Catholic," she whispered, biting at her lower lip. "I could never--and even if I--it's--" It was hers, and Julian's, equal parts of both of them, it was them combined in a brand new little person. As terrified as she was, as much as she supported a woman's right to choose and thought adoption was a wonderful, selfless act, the thought of ending that life or giving it away..."I can't do that," she finally managed.

Claire didn't bother to hide the tiny bit of relief that she felt when she heard that Bee wouldn't do an abortion. "I just had to ask." She nodded her head, reaching to brush her fingers lightly through Bee's hair to tuck a curl behind her ear. "Probably the best is just...blurt it out?" She offered with a tiny little shrug, "I don't know, I've never had to tell someone I was pregnant. But he loves you, I'm sure he'll be stunned but you guys will figure this out together."

She wanted to believe that very much, but the ice that coated her stomach and the knots twisted around her insides refused to go away. "I'm so scared," she admitted, leaning into Claire's shoulder as the tears fell.

Claire wrapped her arm more fully around Bee, rubbing her other arm as she nodded her head slowly, "I know you are." She didn't need to be an empath to know that, it was rather clear. "What can I do? You know I'm here, we'll all be here." They were all family after all.

"I know," Baileigh replied quietly, absently tugging at her shirt sleeve. "I just...I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell him. We're supposed to be leaving soon...I don't want to put this on him right before that, especially after everything I just put him through..." She heaved a sigh and struggled not to cry again. "It's just one thing after another in our lives, isn't it?"

"But it's not like you can hide it from him till you guys get back, I think that would upset him more than finding out now." She nodded her head a little bit before giving a dry laugh, devoid of humor. "It definitely seems to be that way but the one thing I've learned, even if it's one thing after another, we all stick together." She gave her a little reassuring squeeze.

"You think I should tell him now?" she half-squeaked, lifting her head and looking rather stricken. "But--but he's never been to Disney World." That she'd also never been to Disney World was irrelevant. She'd had a chance to be a kid. Julian never had. Dumping this on him before would ruin the whole thing.

"And how are you going to hide it? Are you showing any other signs? What are you going to say when you can't go on some of the rides or you get morning sickness?" She pointed out and then considered everything before frowning just a touch, "Do you think he'll react badly?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly, lifting her head and curling up on herself a bit more. "I hadn't...thought that far ahead, honestly. About the rides, and the...you're right." She bit her lower lip hard. "I have to tell him."

"I'm sorry." Claire felt bad that she was ruining this in some ways, "I mean, you can wait if you want. I just...I wish there was more I could to." She kissed the side of her head softly, "Want me to come with you?"

"No, don't apologize." Baileigh forced a smile, caught her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "You're my voice of reason. I'm just...not thinking straight." She considered taking Claire up on her offer; considered it very seriously. Just to have some moral support. But, no. Bad idea, very bad. "God, I really screwed up. That's all I do. I break things and screw things up."

"Hey!" Her voice turns stern as she reaches out, touching her cheek as she looked at her friend quite seriously, "Don't. You do not break things or screw things up. This, this took two of you but there are a lot of good things you've done." She tilted her head to the side, "You're going to be fine, Bee, both of you. It's scary right now, I don't blame you for being freaked but you don't screw things up. This is just going to take some major adjustment."

She knew she shouldn't beat herself up quite so much, but she kept repeating in her mind, over and over again, how could I have been so careless? Sure, it took two to tango, but she was the one that forgot her dancing shoes. In spite of such thoughts, she managed another smile, scarcely much better or more convincing than the last one, and gave Claire's hand another squeeze. "I love him. That's supposed to be enough, right?" She wasn't sure she bought that line...but it was a nice thought.

"Sure, it is." Claire nodded her head as she squeezed Bee's hand, "I mean, you guys have stuck together through demons and god knows what else. A baby will be scary and I know you guys didn't want kids but...it'll be cute?" She offered, trying to give a little half smile before shrugging a bit, "I'm sorry, I kind of blanked there." She looked a bit sheepish before squeezing her hand once more, "You just need to tell him and then go from there."

She laughed a bit, a very brief laugh but a laugh nonetheless. "It'll be very cute," she conceded, a tiny and slightly more genuine smile on her lips. "Okay...I think...maybe I can actually make it home now." And she'd forgotten what she was supposed to have been out buying. Damn. She'd just have to say they were out of...whatever it had been.

"Very adorable, probably will have us all wrapped around his or her little finger." She nodded with a little smile before moving to stand up. "Come on, I'll walk you home and we can grab something random from somewhere. Like...toothpaste?" She offered with a tiny chuckle, holding out a hand.

She snorted a laugh and uncurled herself from the balled up position she'd assumed and stood as well, immediately wrapping Claire up in a tight hug. "Thanks," she whispered, a bit watery as tears threatened again. "Thanks for being my voice of reason."

Claire turned, wrapping her arms around Bee in a tight hug back as she rubbed a hand between her shoulder blades. Then she gave a little laugh, "Bee, if I'm the voice of reason, you're screwed." She teased a little before her features soften, "But I'm glad I could help and you know I'm here all the time." She nodded her head a bit.

"You're thinking a lot clearer than I am," she pointed out. Not that, of course, that was saying much, the mess that her head was right now. "I know. I appreciate it more than I can say." She sighed lightly, brushed her hair back from her face. "I guess...I should go home and figure out what I'm gonna say." She paused, laughed mirthlessly and rubbed her eyes. "After I get some sleep, God I am so tired."

"It's easier for me. If the roles were reversed, I'd be having a panic attack and begging you to hide me somewhere." She nodded her head because they both knew that her dad would show up with a rifle to shoot Hiro and then Claire would be dragged back home. "Not a problem, I'm here any time." She gave a faint smile, tilting her head a little, "Do you want to have a nap here? You can steal my bed for a bit, I can run out and buy something."

Picturing Mr. B's reaction to Claire getting pregnant...it was both amusing, and a bit scary. Baileigh smiled a little at Claire's offer, but sigh and shook her head. "It's tempting, but I should probably get home. This is, um...sort of the second time today I've had to duck out with a lame excuse today." She shrugged sheepishly and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I really hate lying to him, but I...wasn't sure what else to do."

"I know, you just needed a moment to think though." Claire nodded in understanding with a little smile as she moved to grab her purse off of the table. "If I was pregnant, I'd run straight to you too." She nodded before wrinkling her nose, "Unless someone figured it out before me because you never know with our group." She decided, shaking her head a little bit.

Baileigh smiled slightly and moved into the kitchen to splash some water on her face, though the smile faded as she thought through what Claire had said. "You know? I bet Sylar could hear the heartbeat, once it has a heartbeat. That's...kind of interesting."

Claire blinked, glancing over her shoulder as she looked over at Bee and then wrinkled her nose a touch, "You know, he probably could." Then she tilted her head as she considered it, "I wonder if they could hear it's thoughts."

"...This is seriously wigging me out," she admitted with a mirthless chuckle, blotting the water from her face with a dishtowel to erase all traces of tear stains. "That would be a very Cullen moment."

"I'm sorry, that's totally where my mind went too." She gave a faint laugh, shaking her head a little bit as she watched Bee, "We really should stop making Twilight references." She chuckled as she grabbed her jacket to slide it on before grabbing her shoes.

"No one is nicknaming my baby after the Loch Ness Monster, that's for damned sure," she quipped with a wry smile that quickly faded. "...I just called it 'my baby.'"

Claire's features tried not to soften just a little bit as she tilted her head, "That's a good thing, right?" She offered and then held up a hand, "And I promise, no calling the baby anything similar to the Loch Ness Monster."

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Fear of the dark tears me apart, won't leave me alone and time keeps running out

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