Pick me up, been bleeding too long (rp with girl_ofsecrets)

[deep_red_bells]

She waited on the front steps.

It was a damn near childish thing to do, but she didn't feel like putting up with questions and explanations and pretending to be civil when she just wanted to break things. And slamming the door behind her was satisfying. She couldn't have done that if she'd waited downstairs for Claire to knock on the door.

So she stalked downstairs and slammed the front door and waited outside on the steps. Aware that it was childish. Just not giving a damn.

Comments

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"Ohmigod, you're going to be a rocking Lorelai." Claire nodded her head firmly as she fully believed it, "I mean, I'm sure you'll go Emily if you need to but you're going to be an awesome mom. Sark will even be a cool dad when it comes time, trust me....I was raised by a dad like him." There were some similarities there, in her mind.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

There were a few similarities in her mind, too...not that she planned to tell either of them, she wasn't sure how either Mr. B. or Julian would take it. "I know no one's perfect at it. I just...don't want to fail miserably, it's not the kid's fault, it didn't ask to be conceived."

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"You're not going to fail." She shook her head in an assured manner. "You'll figure it out, give yourself time. It's only been a few weeks and...you can always call my mom. I'm sure she'd love to talk to you and she could talk you through it." She nodded a bit, "Plus you have all of us. I know we're not much help since we're not directly involved but...we're still here." She wrapped an arm around Bee, hugging her gently before urging her to start walking again.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Baileigh heaved another sigh and hugged Claire back, resumed staring down at the lid of her cup when they started walking. "Do you and Hiro ever fight?" she asked quietly.

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"Not really." She shook her head, the smile dying just a bit. "But Hiro is very quiet and he doesn't make me mad really. But then again, we tend to avoid certain issues and talking about them."

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

She could see that, she supposed, but it didn't make her feel much better. "I'm this...extremely emotional person, even before the baby and the hormones and the mood swings. I can't really...I can't change that. And it just makes me feel so awful that I'm the only one that ever gets angry. I want to yell. I want to slam doors. I want to get rid of all the negative emotions. Before, I could deal with the way he just...went silent on me. I could slay. But now I can't and I need another outlet. I just--am I crazy?! I cannot be the only person in the world that thinks it's healthy to argue and work through whatever you're feeling, whatever issues you're having. Am I?"

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"No, you're not." She shakes her head a little with a sigh, "I think it's a good thing but some people are scared about what happens then. That if they face those issues, then things will break beneath them." It was her fear. Hiro was something good in her life, he helped to keep her a little more stable and she was scared of losing it.

"You can still be temperamental but that doesn't mean you're going to take it out on the baby. Look at my dad, he has a temper but he learned the silent stare."

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

"Sometimes you have to put a few cracks in the foundation," she murmured thoughtfully. "Then you can patch them up, and it'll be stronger because of it. It's not the baby I'm afraid of--I think all things considered I'm better equipped to deal with a kid than a husband."

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"I'm scared of those cracks." She murmured as well, then tilted her head to the side as she considered what her friend was saying. "I think you'll do fine. I mean, you guys already live together and everything. You'll just have rings and a paper too."

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

"Because we're doing so well at it, so far," she sighed, passing a hand over her eyes.

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"Hey, for the most part, you guys do." Claire nodded her head, "Right now, you guys have a lot going on but you can't tell me it's not good when things are a little calmer."

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

She shrugged a bit. "Calm because we're avoiding and ignoring issues? I...don't know. I don't know if I'd call that good."

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"No, no, when things are happy." She shook her head, "I mean, you can't be avoiding and ignoring issues all the time since you were first together." A slight pause, "Right?"

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

"No...I don't..." She sighed and kicked irritably at the ground. "It's just, at first, I accepted it, you know? That he was--that it was just the way he was, he kept everything in. But we've been together for over a year, Claire."

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

"What does he say when you tell him this?" She asked curiously, her head canting to the side.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

"Nothing useful," she muttered into her drink.

[its-notluck.livejournal.com]

Claire sighed a little bit, shaking her head, "I wish I had something useful to say but I'm probably not much better at times." She sipped her drink, frowning down at the ground.