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elite_muses, topic 20: Polar Opposite
Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:53 pmMy complete opposite?
Put it this way. Every time I run into an old friend from high school, they always go on about their job--excuse me, their *career.* Or, they talk about nursing school/med school/law school/things that take ninety million college credits before they can graduate. Or they talk about their marriage and their beautiful and smart daughter or son.
I don't say much during those conversations. I just nod and smile and say 'congratulations' through gritted teeth, and then walk away with my jaw and cheeks hurting from how hard I have to strain to keep myself from screaming "WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERFECT LIFE?!" cause that would be really, really rude, not to mention unfair.
Why? Because I don't have that, and I'm starting to think I probably never will.
I'm not driven. I'm not 'goal oriented.' I waitress at the same diner I've worked at since I was 16. I take a class here and there. And I've yet to find anything that I'd want to do for the rest of my life. Everything's been a bust.
Except for acting. I love acting. Problem is, there's thousands upon thousands of others girls out there with better training and raw talent than I've got. Not to mention prettier. With smaller butts. (Hey, don't look at me like that! I've heard it all at auditions. My hair's too long, or it's too short, or my butt's too big. Yes, I actually got told my butt was too big. So don't get irky with me for having an ass complex, okay?!)
So I'll probably never 'make it' as an actress. Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying, because I'm not, but...let's be realistic.
Anyway, yeah. There it is, sad and pathetic as it may be. My polar opposite is pretty much anyone who's successful.
Muse: Baileigh Solis
Fandom: BtVS/Angel OC
Word Count: 308
Put it this way. Every time I run into an old friend from high school, they always go on about their job--excuse me, their *career.* Or, they talk about nursing school/med school/law school/things that take ninety million college credits before they can graduate. Or they talk about their marriage and their beautiful and smart daughter or son.
I don't say much during those conversations. I just nod and smile and say 'congratulations' through gritted teeth, and then walk away with my jaw and cheeks hurting from how hard I have to strain to keep myself from screaming "WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PERFECT LIFE?!" cause that would be really, really rude, not to mention unfair.
Why? Because I don't have that, and I'm starting to think I probably never will.
I'm not driven. I'm not 'goal oriented.' I waitress at the same diner I've worked at since I was 16. I take a class here and there. And I've yet to find anything that I'd want to do for the rest of my life. Everything's been a bust.
Except for acting. I love acting. Problem is, there's thousands upon thousands of others girls out there with better training and raw talent than I've got. Not to mention prettier. With smaller butts. (Hey, don't look at me like that! I've heard it all at auditions. My hair's too long, or it's too short, or my butt's too big. Yes, I actually got told my butt was too big. So don't get irky with me for having an ass complex, okay?!)
So I'll probably never 'make it' as an actress. Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop trying, because I'm not, but...let's be realistic.
Anyway, yeah. There it is, sad and pathetic as it may be. My polar opposite is pretty much anyone who's successful.
Muse: Baileigh Solis
Fandom: BtVS/Angel OC
Word Count: 308
