*Shrugs* That's life I guess. I haven't even told them at work yet. It doesn't feel real. Every time I even think about it my chest feels tight. I haven't even been with the SBPD a year. I feel like I'm abandoning them.
On the other hand it's a family. It's just been me for so long that I've forgotten what it felt like to have one. My whole life I've wanted to be a cop but ever since my dad died it sort of felt like there was nothing else for me. I didn't see myself married. All I had was the job. Andy's offering me something else. An option B. I'm terrified that it won't be enough but I'm not sure I could forgive myself if I didn't at least take him up on it.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-02-08 05:44 am (UTC)On the other hand it's a family. It's just been me for so long that I've forgotten what it felt like to have one. My whole life I've wanted to be a cop but ever since my dad died it sort of felt like there was nothing else for me. I didn't see myself married. All I had was the job. Andy's offering me something else. An option B. I'm terrified that it won't be enough but I'm not sure I could forgive myself if I didn't at least take him up on it.