Paging fire_from_earth

[deep_red_bells]

Angel, you got a second to talk?

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[fire-from-earth.livejournal.com]

Hi Baileigh.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Hey sweetie. Johnny said you were upset with him. You want to talk about it?

[fire-from-earth.livejournal.com]

Talk about what? How he accuses me of being a crazy woman and saying one thing and meaning another or wanting to see his best friend and another woman fight naked?

Baileigh, sometimes I think he wishes we'd never stayed married. I'm just waiting for the day he ups and leaves for good.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

I totally understand being upset and not finding the whole thing amusing, I do, you have no idea how much. But, really...he didn't mean it. He was yanking our chains, mine and Zee's and probably Tommy's too.

I think people make the mistake of thinking that marriage is easy. It's not. It's really, really hard. It's something you have to work at every day, and Johnny's not the pillar of maturity, which is probably something you're gonna have to accept. Pick your battles. Some things? Just aren't worth getting upset over. I mean, I just spent a week being angry at Julian, and I'm still not entirely sure why, except that I was already a not in a good place and one little comment rubbed me the wrong way. It totally wasn't worth it. You see what I'm saying?

Guys don't get us. Period. Half the things we say and get upset over, they think are crazy. Now, that doesn't make it any less insensitive of him to say, of course. I probably would've gotten a little miffed, too...just not 'you're sleeping on the couch' level miffed. More like 'chunk a pillow at his head' miffed. That kind of goes back to choosing your battles. Maybe try sitting down with him and talking? Communication is really, really key to a working relationship and going to bed mad? Really sucks.

[fire-from-earth.livejournal.com]

I know. I know all this but..god..sometimes I think he forgets who I am, how I'm like. I've never had anyone in my life until Johnny. No friends, no boyfriend, and I want so much for this marriage to work that I'm pushing myself really hard.

Since I found out I was pregnant I found us a house, sorted it out, did the babies room, set up a party and I've been up at the crack of dawn to look after my horse. On top of all that I've been trying to put a wedding together. I'm tired and I'm stressed, all that with the baby making me feel ill and my powers being all funny. I see Johnny having a laugh and joking around with stronger, prettier women than I am and I get this sick feeling in my stomach. Baileigh, I am so frightened he'll leave me and find someone better that it's making me sick.

To me he's the sweetest guy in the world, but to the world he's still all about other women. It's almost like our marriage is totally separate from the rest of the world.

*lowers her head into her hands* I'm just a mess.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. I cannot imagine the kind of stress you're under. And you're insecure. And it's understandable, my God, I would be if I were you. And I am. I'm insecure all the time. I look at those utterly confident women and I think "How, how do you do it?" I look at Julian sometimes and I can't help thinking that he'll get tired of me and all the crap I know I put him through.

But he loves me, and Johnny loves you. And while Paul and John weren't ENTIRELY right, about love being all you need? It's a nice big chunk of what you need.

*gives her a hug* Just talk to him, honey. Don't let it fester. Trust me, it makes it worse.

[fire-from-earth.livejournal.com]

*slowly wraps her arms around her and just starts to cry*

I'm just a nothing from nowhere and Johnny..Johnny is the guy that's always out of reach, that everyone wants but can't keep. If he wakes up one day and realises all of this was a mistake I think I'd fall to pieces and destroy everything.

I was fine before I met Johnny, I didn't need anyone, I was happy alone but.. *pulls back and looks into her eyes for a moment* I need to ask you something, something very important and I'll probably ask Zee the same too. If Johnny and I ever break up will you watch over me, even if it means that you have to end my life?

*she knows Zee knows about her powers but Baileigh? She didn't think so* Because if I lost control and let my powers get the best of me, the whole world will be destroyed.

I'm just always so scared now..and with the baby it's harder. *sniffs some, wiping her eyes and looking down* I know I should talk to him, I do..

*pinches her nose* Thanks for this.

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

*is very, very confused by the request at first, but when she expands and mentions her powers, it makes more sense*

I won't let it come to that, but yes, I promise.

*nods and hugs her again*

You're very welcome, honey. You can talk to me anytime, you know.

[fire-from-earth.livejournal.com]

*nods into the hug and closes her eyes*

I just hate being a pain, probably does more damage in the long run