[MS] October topic
Oct. 27th, 2008 05:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deep_red_bellsBut lately I'm beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel.
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To whom it may concern (which, I'm hoping, is pretty much everyone I know personally):
I've wracked my brain trying to think of the right way to say this. To put it some way that doesn't make it sound like I need to get the hell away from all of you, but when it comes right down to it, that's exactly what I'm doing.
I haven't been in a good place since that whole thing with Dana. There's a lot I haven't dealt with, a lot of issues I need to address. It needs to be done, and I need to do it alone.
I need to figure out if I can do this anymore. And by 'this' I mean everything. Slaying in particular, but...everything. Just everything.
If I keep going like this, I'm gonna get myself and probably a few other people killed. I can't let it get to that point. I'm afraid I'm destroying myself, and I have to stop that before it can happen. I can't have people depending on me when I feel like a time bomb without a visible countdown clock.
Please know that this is nothing to do with any of you, and everything to do with me.
I'm going back to Corpus and I'm asking to be left alone. I'm asking for time to think, time to get myself together, without being pushed at constantly. This isn't to say I don't want to talk to anyone, but let me come to you. I know that seems unfair of me to ask, but please. I hate playing this card, but please, if you care, do this for me.
I can't make any promises right now. I can't tell you I'll be back, because I don't know. I hope so.
I love you all.
Bee.
******************************
To whom it may concern (which, I'm hoping, is pretty much everyone I know personally):
I've wracked my brain trying to think of the right way to say this. To put it some way that doesn't make it sound like I need to get the hell away from all of you, but when it comes right down to it, that's exactly what I'm doing.
I haven't been in a good place since that whole thing with Dana. There's a lot I haven't dealt with, a lot of issues I need to address. It needs to be done, and I need to do it alone.
I need to figure out if I can do this anymore. And by 'this' I mean everything. Slaying in particular, but...everything. Just everything.
If I keep going like this, I'm gonna get myself and probably a few other people killed. I can't let it get to that point. I'm afraid I'm destroying myself, and I have to stop that before it can happen. I can't have people depending on me when I feel like a time bomb without a visible countdown clock.
Please know that this is nothing to do with any of you, and everything to do with me.
I'm going back to Corpus and I'm asking to be left alone. I'm asking for time to think, time to get myself together, without being pushed at constantly. This isn't to say I don't want to talk to anyone, but let me come to you. I know that seems unfair of me to ask, but please. I hate playing this card, but please, if you care, do this for me.
I can't make any promises right now. I can't tell you I'll be back, because I don't know. I hope so.
I love you all.
Bee.
