Baileigh Solis

B,

What's up?

-- C

From:

C,

I was kind of wondering if you'd mind being one of my bridesmaids? I solemnly swear to choose unoffensive colors and a dress without hideous bows on the butt or shoulder.

--B

From:

B,

OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS??

-- C

From:

C,

Is that a yes or a no? Course I'm serious!

--B

From:

B,

Of course it's a yes!

-- C

From:

C,

Seriously?!!

--B!!

From:

B,

Of course!! I'd be honored!

-- C

From:

C,

You can't hear it but I'm squealing with glee.

--B

From:

B,

You totally missed me jumping and down, squealing. I almost ran to your hotel!

-- C

From:

C,

Oh thank God, I was so afraid you wouldn't want to! Some people groan and hide at the prospect of bridesmaid-dom!

--B

From:

B,

What? No way! I've never been one before and I would love to be your bridesmaid, it'll be fun!

-- C

From:

C,

Well then it's totally a first time for both of us since I've never been a bride, but I've done the bridesmaid thing before, so I can give you good instruction! There's really nothing to it, especially since we're hiring a wedding planner. Just show up and carry flowers and don't let me turn into fire-breathing bridezilla at any point.

--B

From:

B,

You know, I'm good with walking and carrying flowers. I'll also carry an extinguisher in case you start breathing fire, so we're set!

-- C

From:

C,

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

--B

From:

B,

Thank you for asking me!!

-- C

From:

C,

Thank you for agreeing!!

--B

From:

B,

Of course, I'm so excited now!

-- C

From:

C,

Me too! Feel like being included in the dress picking process?

--B

From:

B,

Sure, I could use the distraction.

-- C

From:

Bee,

If you really honestly still want me there? Wild fucking horses couldn't drag my skinny ass away.

Love you,
HDC

From:

Hank,

Absolutely I want you there. In a pretty dress. And your boyfriend in a tux. Though not in the wedding party obviously but we can make him wear a tux anyway.

And I was serious about you coming to New York. For Christmas, or before or after, for New Year's if you want. I hear they drop a big ball in the street, or something. You guys could all come up.

--B

From:

Bee,

He can be my date for the wedding. He'd probably freak if he was in the wedding party, anyway. He can be shy at weird times.

Dad says we can still go for the holidays, I just gotta come back here after. I'll have to ask about New Year's...Val and Mel own my shit, but apparently Dad's still being dad. Go fig.

And Bee? Thanks...and I really do. Love you, I mean.

Love ya,
HDC

From:

Hank,

I've noticed that. He's an odd duck. But cute.

All right, we're not going anywhere anytime soon. Unfortunately. Adam keeps adding stuff to the itinerary. I still do not see the big deal about the Rockettes. So what if they can kick at the same time? Get a bunch of us Slayers in the room together and we could do that shit.

You could do Christmas with your family, New Year's up here with us? It's up to you. I'd be happy to see you guys anytime.

I love you too, Hank.

--B

From:

Bee,

He is. But I love him, and he's good in bed, so I'll keep him. ;)

I'll go on record as pleasantly as I can as saying that I hope Adam keeps you busy for a long-ass time. Staying is good. Staying means you're in one place, and not maybe overseas or something where I can't visit. Dad/Val'll let me fly to NYC, they won't let me fly to Machu Pichu or some shit.

We could do both...I wanna see that big ass tree in Rockefeller Center and shit. I emailed Carbone Karras, too, he promised to take me ice skating and ask his mom to take me to a magic club.

So...this bridesmaid thing. Can I help you pick dresses, or do you have shit done already there?

Love ya,
HDC

From:

Hank,

I didn't need to know that. :p

This is true, I wish it wasn't so damned cold here. Other than the cold, I think I could learn to like it. I hate being cold.

Both is good too. I don't get the big deal about the big ass tree either. God, I'm such a Scrooge.

Bridesmaids dresses? Not yet. I can't find any that I like, but I'm looking. And no you can't help, that's forbidden in bridesmaid-dom.

<3,
B

From:

B,

Grossing you out about my sex life is my final parting shot at being a total fucking bitch...so yes, Joe's good in bed. Deal.

Cold's not so bad...but I grew up in Motown. We need a SoCal Christmas, yo. Los Angeles or fucking bust.

Whatever, yo...but if you make me wear ruffles or pink or some shit, I'll...well, I'll wear it, but I'll get explicit for a year when I gross you out about my sex life. Swear to God.

Love ya,
HDC

From:

Hank,

I could start in on my sex life too, you realize. It's a two way street.

I grew up in Corpus. It's a coastal city. Anything below fifty degrees is fucking freezing for me. Apparently Julian likes the snow, and skiing and ice skating. I'm so doomed.

No pink. I was thinking a neutral color. My dress will be champagne colored and I want the whole wedding to have this feeling of soft candlelight and elegance.

<3
--B

From:

Bee,

After spending more time around Terry and Karina than you have? I just might be able to take it...then again, I'd rather not test it. I'll find some other way to be obnoxious for my own personal amusement.

Gimme five minutes and a pair of skates? I'll teach you to love it. I grew up playing no-rules ice hockey in the winter. We'll make you a snow bunny yet.

That actually sounds really cool...just give Annie my crown, I don't want one. She just texted me with some shit about princess tiaras. I'm blaming you.

Love ya,
HDC

From:

Dearest Miss Solis, soon to be Mrs. Sark,

You're insane, MASTER CHIEF OWNS YOUR ASS...and I want a shiny hat. Then you got yourself a deal.

Love and muffins,
Tucker

From:

Dearest ~~Master Pain~~ Evil Betty,

Shiny hat for bachelorette party. Big, goofy shiny hat.

With much love and flowers and chipmunks,

The Chosen One, AKA The future Mrs. Lazarey AND Sark. I get an alias out of the marriage. I FUCKING RULE.

From:

Dear Chosen One,

I WANT A SHINY HAT FOR THE WEDDING. Like a crown. CROWN ME, BITCH.

I'm rethinking the name change now. I want a double last name. Beth Ann Woodman-Callahan.

...nah. Too pretentious to even be funny.

Love and kisses,
~~Zaphod~~ Mrs. Andrew Callahan, Medical Superprivate FIRST CLASS

From:

Dear Master Tang,

You can has a tiara comb. A small one. Just cause you're the maid of honor. But steal my tiara and veil thunder and I CUT YOU! I KEEL JOO! KEEEEEEEEEL JOOOOOOOOO!!

Dude, how weird does Baileigh Lazerey sound? Or Baileigh Sark for that matter. But I don't EVEN care, I wanna be a Mrs! And I won't have to change any of my monogrammed stuff! Or I wouldn't if I had any. Which I don't. BUY ME SOME MONOGRAMMED STUFF!!

Love and fuzzy socks,

Chosimba (This is CEE EEEN EEEEN...)

From:

Dear Chosen Church,

You couldn't cut me with a machete, wench. MAI COMB WILL KICK YOUR VEIL'S VEILY ASS, K?

Baileigh Sark, please...Baileigh Lazarey is too close to rhyming. :S I'M BUYING YOU GUYS MONOGRAMMED MATCHING POLO SHIRTS, AND IF YOU DON'T WEAR THEM IN FRONT OF ME AT LEAST ONCE I WILL KEEL YOUR HUBBY. YOU HEARD ME.

Love and dimpled butts (Drew has an ADORABLE one),
Evil Tucker (WhhhheeeeeOOOOOH!!!!!)

From:

Dear Evil Betty Turcker Super Medical Private FIRSTCLASSZOMG,

Will not, beotch! It's MY DAY!

Lazarey legally, Sark in conversation, probably. Did I mention how fucking cool it is that I get to have an alias? XD

Love and gopher chucks,
Chosen Church of the Tonguey

From: