[Emails] Sent to girl_ofsecrets, <lj site="livejournal.com" user=

[deep_red_bells]

Claire,

Need to ask you something, kiddo.

--B




Annie,

Just letting you know you're my maid of honor, bitch. I'm not asking I'm telling. NO OPTION! NO SOUP FOR YOU! MASTER CHIEF SAY SO!

--B



Hank,

I know it's been a rough time lately, but you're still gonna be a bridesmaid in my wedding...right? I promise no ugly colors or abominations of shoes.

--B

Comments

Re: insane demands from bridezilla-in-training

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Dearest Master Pain Evil Betty,


Shiny hat for bachelorette party. Big, goofy shiny hat.


With much love and flowers and chipmunks,


The Chosen One, AKA The future Mrs. Lazarey AND Sark. I get an alias out of the marriage. I FUCKING RULE.

Re: insane demands from bridezilla-in-training

[morsus-mihi.livejournal.com]

Dear Chosen One,

I WANT A SHINY HAT FOR THE WEDDING. Like a crown. CROWN ME, BITCH.

I'm rethinking the name change now. I want a double last name. Beth Ann Woodman-Callahan.

...nah. Too pretentious to even be funny.

Love and kisses,
Zaphod Mrs. Andrew Callahan, Medical Superprivate FIRST CLASS

Re: insane demands from bridezilla-in-training

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Dear Master Tang,

You can has a tiara comb. A small one. Just cause you're the maid of honor. But steal my tiara and veil thunder and I CUT YOU! I KEEL JOO! KEEEEEEEEEL JOOOOOOOOO!!

Dude, how weird does Baileigh Lazerey sound? Or Baileigh Sark for that matter. But I don't EVEN care, I wanna be a Mrs! And I won't have to change any of my monogrammed stuff! Or I wouldn't if I had any. Which I don't. BUY ME SOME MONOGRAMMED STUFF!!

Love and fuzzy socks,

Chosimba (This is CEE EEEN EEEEN...)

Re: insane demands from bridezilla-in-training

[morsus-mihi.livejournal.com]

Dear Chosen Church,

You couldn't cut me with a machete, wench. MAI COMB WILL KICK YOUR VEIL'S VEILY ASS, K?

Baileigh Sark, please...Baileigh Lazarey is too close to rhyming. :S I'M BUYING YOU GUYS MONOGRAMMED MATCHING POLO SHIRTS, AND IF YOU DON'T WEAR THEM IN FRONT OF ME AT LEAST ONCE I WILL KEEL YOUR HUBBY. YOU HEARD ME.

Love and dimpled butts (Drew has an ADORABLE one),
Evil Tucker (WhhhheeeeeOOOOOH!!!!!)

Re: insane demands from bridezilla-in-training

[deep-red-bells.livejournal.com]

Dear Evil Betty Turcker Super Medical Private FIRSTCLASSZOMG,

Will not, beotch! It's MY DAY!

Lazarey legally, Sark in conversation, probably. Did I mention how fucking cool it is that I get to have an alias? XD

Love and gopher chucks,
Chosen Church of the Tonguey

Re: insane demands from bridezilla-in-training

[morsus-mihi.livejournal.com]

YOU FORGOT TO CALL ME LING, YOU WHORE! I MADE THE NOISE AND EVERYTHING!!! BRAN MUFFINS FOR YOU!!!,

It's my day, too. Why? I'm so responsible for you two hooking up. How? Because I made you cool enough to get noticed by Hotty McSuave, that's how.

My married name pwns your married name. I HAVE SPOKEN.

Love and SAKEEEEEEEEEEEE,
Evil Tucker Super Medical Private LING YOU WHORE!!!!